One full hand.

It's been said more than a couple of times that straight men and women can't have true "platonic" relationships. I've never understood this, nor have I ever stood behind this statement, but I'm definitely seeing that not being "just friends" is a regular human practice.

During the course of my life I have spent a large portion of my time just being friends with guys. This was due to a total lack of confidence in my romantic self, and the fact that I, in no way, even knew (and it's arguable if I even know now) how to actually be in a romantic relationship (See, "romantically challenged."). My natural inclination for things is to be friends; some compasses point north, mine points to "friendship." With this being the case, I have never had a problem having platonic relationships with males, even if I harbored romantic feelings for them, which I very often did. So why is it such an issue? I mean, can't we all just be friends?

Now, up until this past year I was never in a situation to "turn down" advances, as I never had the chance. But now that I have had the chance (and turned it down) I realize just how deeply rooted these anti-platonic feelings about male/female friendships really are. They go deep. Deep enough that I've seen people completely discard another based purely on the fact that they "couldn't just be friends." You liked me enough to want to date me, but not be my friend? Where in the world is the sense in that?

And even beyond the discarding of people left and right based on some crazy notion that has been so deeply rooted into our culture it almost seems biological, I've also found that if two people, a man and a woman, are friends, there are almost always ulterior motives. The thought that "maybe one day," or, "maybe just a roll in the hay," is almost always present, and the tension that it causes is most certainly the proverbial "elephant in the room"; and a very awkward elephant at that.

So why is this? What exactly is this all about? Is it due to the fact that we, as humans, are animals and still act on some primitive animal instinct to, quite literally, spread our seed? Or is it just easier to say, "We can't be friends," because it takes less work to not be a friend than it does to be a friend? Or maybe it's that it is just far easier to get rid of a person that may bring about feelings of a non-platonic nature than it is to just swallow a bit of pride and move on?

We say "just" friends, but somehow, somewhere along the way "just" has taken on some new meaning entirely; something painful and awkward and all together unacceptable. We hear the words, "just friends" and almost instinctively we recoil in a shudder of pain and nausea and clutch our chest and think, "WHAT?!" It's become more of an insult than a proclamation from someone saying, "Hey, you're good stuff" (which, in most cases, is what it is intended to be). It becomes something that gives people the ability to justify turning their backs on one another or remain some hungry vulture just waiting for something; whatever that something is.

It makes no sense. People jump out of airplanes, put their heads inside a lions' mouths and have walked on the moon for crying out loud, and yet we still can't manage to practice something as simple as just being friends?

It's not that hard, ask me. I've done it for twenty five years, and I'm sure, with the state of society as it is, there will be more of it.

Just. Who knew it could be so…unjust?