The 24th Year.

As many of you know, I was extremely excited to turn 25. Reason? Nearly unknown.

I think what it really came down to was just being excited for a new year. The next Chapter. New and more and bigger promises of change. Which as far as I’m concerned, all change can be good change if you allow it to be. And so I’ve been thinking...while I have been, and am, so excited for "Chapter 25," I am equally elated about how the 24th turned out.

I’ve had time to reflect on it...think it over, ask and answer questions, and figure certain things out. So while the only "real" thing that changed on March 21st of 2008 was the one’s digit in my age, I feel a certain closure, and I’ve been mulling that around.

The 24th Chapter of my life was insane. Completely. And not just in relation to the rather mediocre current I had taken up until that point, but even in terms of the general Webster’s understanding of "insane."

In Chapter 24 I lost some myself. Literally.

I had been lucky enough, strong enough, diligent enough (whatever enough) to have lost 80 measurable pounds in Chapter 23, and spent Chapter 24 shedding immeasurable pounds of guilt, shame, fear, weakness, insecurity, confusion, and all the other painful and sometimes debilitating things one often acquires after living a life as someone you didn’t completely care for...and I mean that in all understandings of the phrase, "didn’t completely care for." I didn’t emotionally care for who I was as a person, nor did I physically care for who I was as a person. And year 24 began my mission of learning to do both...as a habit.

And it’s funny now, looking back, at how "domino" like the rest happened.

I had my first kiss. My first real kiss. And I know how "Never Been Kissed" that sounds, but believe me, I am no Drew Barrymore. It was one of the most intensely scary and exciting moments of my entire life...and the build up to it was well worth the wait. I’ll never be one of those people who look back on their first kiss and think, "Ugh...what was I thinking?!" Nor will I be one of those people who can hardly recall the finest details of it. I remember what I was wearing...and what he was wearing. It was fantastic.

Chapter 24 was also a year of having to learn the very awkward art of, "accepting advances." Up until this chapter I had never been the girl guys ask out, or pursue. I had been, however, the funny side kick of the girl guys ask out. I was the girl the really lame guys came up to and asked, "Hey...is your friend single? She’s HOT." And I was okay with that I suppose, if only because it was the norm. But now I was this girl whom guys looked at and asked, "Hey...would you like to hang out sometime? Here’s my number." Why? Do you think my friend is hot? I can’t describe the amount of complete confusion I have suffered from or added to during this chapter. Though I can say, without a doubt, that there was no shortage of, "Huh?" moments.

I was lucky enough this chapter, however, to have just as many, "A-ha!" moments as I had, "Huh?’ moments. I learned so much about myself. Who I am. What I want and what I don’t want. And what was even better than just the, "A-ha!" moment itself was the fact that I was finally in a place where I could completely appreciate that moment...and live it. Truly priceless experiences.

The biggest surprises of this chapter, you ask? It was definitely how it ended. It ended with the kind of bang people literally only dream about.

I got the kind of closure people dream about.

And it came in the form of my high school dream coming true.

And it only added to realizing how true another dream of mine had become.

I finally got to hug the "bitter fat girl" I had been and say, "It’s alright." And she knew it to be true.

All because she finally got a kiss from the guy of her high school dreams.

And while she relished in the perfection of that "dream come true" moment, all it really did was show her how much she loved someone else.

It’s funny really. How completely thrilling and dull it was all at the same time. It made for an amazing close to a chapter...how one completely anticipated (but never ever EVER actually believed would happen) act closed out not just a chapter, but a complete "Part 1" of the book of my life.

Funniest of all was that "it" literally happened at the end of the chapter. The "5" was still dizzy from its flip down to the one’s place when a dream came true and another was realized. Sigh. This is life.

And so I just keep thinking, "It can only get better." Perhaps that’s why I’m already looking forward to 26.

Perhaps.